The Illusion of Comfort
Have you ever had someone tell you that you need to step outside your comfort zone? If so, how did it make you feel? Angry? Frustrated? Annoyed? Ashamed? It can feel like a slap in the face to be told you should get out of the place you feel safe. It offers familiarity, security, predictability, and routine. Isn’t the point to be comfortable? The answer seems like such an easy “yes,” but like most things in life, it’s not really that simple.
On the surface, our comfort zone seems like it’s the place we’d all want to be. It offers us a sense of control over our most commonly practiced parts of our lives. What we eat, what we do with our time, the people we share our days and lives with. Don’t get me wrong, there are real benefits to being within your comfort zone. However, too many of us become over-dependent on staying comfortable, rather than challenging ourselves with new experiences.
The truth of the comfort zone is that the sense of safety, predictability, and control that it provides us, isn’t real. Life will inevitably present us with obstacles and challenges along the way that will force us out of that zone, whether we like it or not. The stresses of everyday life like work, chores, bills, and all the other things that we tend to hate burns us out. The challenges we all face such as illness, an ever-changing political landscape, loss; it puts us through the wringer. We tend to lean on the things that make us comfortable to combat that, but those things aren’t always fulfilling. They may pacify our issues, but they don’t make us happy. Comfort is temporary and surface-level. Happiness is more deeply ingrained into who we are.
The beauty in being able to step out of that safety net on your own, is that it gives you the time and practice to be more flexible and adaptable to new and uncomfortable experiences. Making that choice by yourself takes a good bit of courage, but if it’s something you continue to make an honest attempt at, you’ll be an overall more confident person. You’ll be less afraid of failure.
So how do we break free from our safety net?
The first step is arguably the most difficult; it’s recognizing that we’re stuck there in the first place. It’s the exact same principle that applies to fixing a problem. You have to know there’s something wrong to begin with in order to make any sort of meaningful change. Reflection and self-awareness are crucial in order to begin that process, and that can be a treacherous journey in and of itself. Between facing personal demons, holding ourselves accountable for our own problematic behaviors, and learning new coping mechanisms, it can really put a strain on you and discourage you from even trying to continue. As anything else in life though, the more we practice it, the better we get at it.
Once you get used to the habit of reflecting, it’s important to begin laying the framework of setting long-term goals. This creates a space to begin seeking new challenges, and pushing your own personal boundaries. You’ll be forced to face some new challenges along the way, but it’ll be a more structured landscape, and more within your control. When those new challenges inevitably present themselves, take them on as learning opportunities. It’ll help restructure your mindset of what does and doesn’t work for you, which are the building blocks of a more sustainable and fulfilling life.
The illusion of comfort is nothing more than smoke and mirrors. It’s a facade that merely masks the ugly truth that life is complicated, messy, and painful at times. When we become dependent on comfort, we build walls around us in the shape of anxiety, fear, and stagnation. It controls us. But when we tear those walls down, we regain control over ourselves, and allow ourselves the chance to become unstoppable.
